How and Why I Am Taking Lifestyle Design Very, Very Seriously.

I’ve always loved to sing along with Jethro Tull to their song, Skating Away On The Thin Ice of A New Day. There is one part in which the lyrics unfold:

...You were bred for humanity and sold to society. One day you’ll wake up, in the present day, a million generations removed from expectations of being who you really want to be....

I can genuinely say I experienced this awakening in my own life. This awareness didn’t come in the form of one ah-ha moment; rather it was a gradual self-discovery involving a series of realizations. Although there was a re-surfacing hopeful feeling that stayed with me, I found that embracing the reality that I didn’t like who I was becoming was largely riddled with pain, confusion and doubt.

Realization 1: I was surrounded by victims. At my corporate work environment, I noticed people using language that blamed others for why their situation wasn’t ideal or they would complain about being trapped in the rat race with no other life options. Over time, exposure to this perspective has the ability to be rather depressing. At home, my five-year relationship was crumbling as I discovered I’d been lied to. Once an initial lie was revealed, the rest seemed to come like a waterfall, literally knocking me down. My questions shifted from being curious about why people would lie to me, to different inquires, such as: Why am I attached to suffering? Why do I allow my dignity to be taken advantage of? Why am I continually a victim?

Realization 2: I have had a lifelong quest pursuing the prioritization of truth above consequence, yet ironically this pursuit led me right into the arms of deception. I wasn’t just surrounded by victims or simply acting like a victim, I actually was a victim. Deception feeds on victims and I was playing the role of a subconscious volunteer victim. I was allowing various forces to control my perspective.

Realization 3: In order to thrive in an environment where others were authentic and honest, I would have to change my identity. I’d have to interact with the world in a whole new way. This would involve shedding aspects of the environments that enabled my victimization, yet more importantly it involved taking the risk to live my absolute fullest potential.  

So I did. I quit the job where I was surrounded by people who felt trapped in narrow realities. I got out of the relationship that was enabling my victimization and woven with lies. And then I got in touch with my lost inner child, the one who loves exploring higher consciousness and seeing the multiverse through a lens of vibrational energy systems. I took accountability to follow that part of myself. This included getting deeply in tune with that authentic thread of my suppressed identity, a part I wanted to own up to and construct my entire life vocation around, yet had been allowing social constructs to override for a long time.

I’ve found it to be true that once the conviction has been made to pursue the truest parts of oneself, the multiverse conspires to help. 

Yet, to live the reality, does one have to forgo the dream?

Perhaps. However the beautiful part about that is that it ensures there is always space to create new dreams. As one architects these series of creative dreams into reality, over and over, it designs a life in which the boundaries between dreams and reality merge into a living space of freedom and enchantment.

During the next few months, I chose many wild and different ways to ensure I was holding myself accountable to stay on track with this new identity design. This included exploring with spiritual masters in the remote desert, conducting extensive thought-stream writing, studying my childhood brain programming, having deep and honest conversations with my parents as well as visiting friends and family all over the world. And in August of 2015, I joined a community of others who were also choosing to take full ownership as the authors of their lives and identities. As previously strangers, we assembled in a circle on a rooftop in Chicago, Illinois. Quickly no longer strangers, we became united as we vowed to support each other fully as we embarked on a year to discover and pursue our deepest dreams.

I’d like to bring this journey into the present moment. Right now, I am living in full of enchantment with un-before thinkable synergies. I am free. I am at the Raleigh Durham airport headed to a Consciousness Hacking event in Manhattan. My near-term plans include commitments to conferences and events in thought spaces I’ve never thought I could participate. In addition, the conversations I’ve been having with new human connections are of an entirely new caliber of curious quality. They are authentic, bold and honest. These are some of the exact frequencies I've been craving to be around. And it turns out there is an entire budding community that cares about the convergence of consciousness, technology and commerce. I am experiencing external feedback, in an invitational way, that I could in fact be part of this loving community that wants to heal the entire world... and that I could actually contribute too. Bits and pieces of my self-worth are finally being put together inside me and it’s ineffable. I’ve got an outrageous amount of work ahead to actualize my lifestyle design and construct my boldest identity, yet I feel the way I’m channeling my energy is finally in the direction of love, freedom and growth.

It’s my hope these words have planted a seed inside you to explore a more authentic version of yourself too. Why not step into a world without excuses? I’ll be calling all angels to surround you and loving you living your choice.

Now, back to Jethro Tull:

As you push off from the shore, won’t you turn your head once more, and make your peace with everyone? For those who choose to stay will live just one more day… to do the things they should have done. And as you cross the wilderness, spinning in your emptiness: you feel you have to pray. Looking for a sign that the universal mind (!) has written you into the passion play. Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.

 


7 Year Life Reset Button

Chapel Hill, NC

Hello 7 year reset, or what is perhaps more commonly referred to as a “seven year itch!” Why the number 7? Well, that’s a rabbit hole for another time. Today’s adventure is a reflection on what led me to break up with my job and from the path society had laid out for me and instead to follow my heart.

The desire for a life reset came nagging through my intuition, eventually becoming way more than what I could simply term a catchy phrase and laugh off. In fact, the pull for change became so annoying that I had to find a new way to deal with it, instead of just staying busy. So, with thanks to @starlag12 and @J_CameronLive for offering a tool to help obtain clarity, I began to write three full pages of thought streams every morning. This is not traditional journaling and it does not even entail attempts to make the writing eloquent. Rather, this process is all about generating a spontaneous flow and cleansing established thought patterns. By allowing a direct channel from my mind onto the paper, I was able to bypass the analytical brain and unproductive rumination cycles. Although analytical processes definitely have their shining place in effectiveness, what I needed at this point in time was a way to reach my inner voice. After a few weeks, the clarity became so strong that the consequence involved a happily welcomed confidence as well. I knew what I had to do.

Both my manager and boss at work had been exceptional champions for me and the thought of letting them and the team down made my stomach queasy. Yet, I felt strongly that if one really chooses the path to follow intuition and inner callings that it would likely entail letting people down along the way. Therefore, I would just have to find a way to do it gracefully. My meeting with my boss was pushed up to Monday morning. So there it was. It was Friday and I was going to resign on Monday. The two weekend days only brought more clarity.

The details of what led up to the original restless state of mind include aversion to conformity, frustration with the politics of the bureaucratic corporation I was involved, and other resistance you can imagine. Yet, ultimately, it was a re-surfacing innate feeling that this was not all my life was meant to be, that I have great talents that are not being used and that there really is a place in the world where these talents can both make a great positive impact to better the world while simultaneously generating personal autonomy and financial freedom in the process.

Now, it must be stated that the job I had was dynamic, mostly interesting, and the leadership with which I was aligned offered empowerment and cared for my well-being. This is part of what made the decision so tough. I didn’t just have a good job, I had a customized job at a leading healthcare company. And leadership seemed to mostly like me!

But, perhaps like the 7 year itch in relationships, sometimes the pull for change can occur so strongly that it can bring you to break up with situations that are even great ones, not just solely bad ones. So I changed the background of my cell phone screen to a picture of the ocean and the phrase “listen to the quiet pull from within” (great image by @heyamberrae) and began to believe in myself in a whole new way – and believe in my whole life too.

What’s next is mine to create. I’ve got a lot to do. Anchors aweigh.